My First Threesome

Two reasons as to why your wife may want a bisexual fmf

May 4, 2008 | Couples, Issues, Single M / F, Threesome Questions

One of the more difficult things for an individual in a relationship to hear is that their partner wants a threesome and what can make it even more difficult is the fact that they want to have a bisexual experience in it. Before continuing it is important to define what is meant by bisexual experience in a threesome. For this author same contact is used is used to talk about two people of the same sex having some form of sexual contact in a threesome. The definition of same sex contact is limited to present experience and not a continued pattern. Bisexual experience has a broader meaning and this author uses it to regard repeated experiences in which there is same sex contact. Furthermore bisexual means a developed sexual preference for sexual contact with both sexes, the person may develop relationships with either sex but show a preference for one sex, To the people outside of the relationship for the man people may be thinking what a lucky guy being able to see something like that. However for man it can be a very troubling and confusing time. This article will examine this author’s opinion regarding two possible explanations but similar explanations for this request.

Need to explore her sexuality

All of us are sexual beings and have sexual desires. A part of sexuality is defined by having children and forming a long-term relationship. Establishing a long-term relationship and having a family meets those needs by confirming our contribution to society by ensuring that there will be another generation. Once a secure loving relationship has been established, children begin to leave home to continue their education and start their own families questions about who we are sexually begin to emerge. This emergence may be bring up questions from the past that is unresolved such as what would sex be like with someone of the same sex. It also can make an individual feel liberated since they do not have fight their sexual desires for fear of others finding out and the fact the perfect parent image is no longer needed to be maintained. In essence it is not uncommon to see this desire, exploring same sex contact, emerge during the late 30 to early 50s.

Same sex contact need

This author has seen statistics vary from 2% - 12% of all women are bisexual and feels that the actual number is somewhere between 2% - 4%. Much of the variance this author believes is how the researcher defined bisexuality with 2% being a lifestyle choice and 12% includes women who had limited same sex contact. Regardless of the statistics the issue may have come up for you and the statistics probably does not explain much except that somewhere between 1 in 8 women and 1 in 50 women a bisexual. It may be in some cases if your female partner had limited same sex contact when they were younger it is possible that they may have some unresolved questions such as am I bi or was it just sexual experimentation as I was discovering who I am? Once your children begin to leave or are just preparing to leave it is possible that this issue may surface and for her it needs to be resolved.

Why a threesome?

If it is your female partner who suggested the idea most likely she feels secure in her relationship with you. Generally speaking women tend to be relationship security orientated and will not put their relationship at risk. For her suggesting fmf threesome that includes a bisexual element may be something she believes everyone man wants and that it would be easier to find a single bisexual f than a ‘straight’ female. Most likely that is not the case. Instead she is suggesting it in order for her to be able to explore that side of her sexuality and wants you to help her with it. She may be curious of what it is like to have sex with another woman since she has never had sex with another woman and once she is able to explore it the issue may naturally resolve itself. For her it may be that she is questioning her sexuality and needs more clarity. Whatever the reason it is important as her partner that you take the time and the effort to understand her need in this situation. Without asking her it will leave a lot of questions and a lot of questions unresolved.

My First Threesome ™

© 2008

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